Things I wish I could say about a newly minted story, but only I’d find them funny

Today I’ve got a story up at Monkeybicycle and I am freaking. OUT. I love, love, love, love Moneybicycle; I even sent them some horrifically bad writing many years ago (speaking of, is there protocol for apologizing to magazines who had to read your shitty work?  Should one send an edible arrangement, or something?).  Anyway, Monkeybicycle publishes some phenomenally weird and formally inventive stuff, and I am so thrilled to be a part of their publication.

In honor of my pure, unadulterated, nervous excitement about this story’s publication, here are four completely inappropriate thoughts I’ve had when I imagine telling people about this particular story:

  • I only do hardcore arts and crafts.
  • This one’s for all you new mothers out there!
  • What do you mean, you’ve never worn your baby before?  I thought you got pregnant just to have a 100% made-from-scratch accessory.
  • Now THAT’S proper stretching technique.

If you’re wondering how the above four sentences could possibly relate, you can find out by reading this story here.

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