Publishing Advice for the Unpublished Writer

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Things I wish I could say about a newly minted story, but only I’d find them funny

Today I’ve got a story up at Monkeybicycle and I am freaking. OUT. I love, love, love, love Moneybicycle; I even sent them some horrifically bad writing many years ago (speaking of, is there protocol for apologizing to magazines who had to read your shitty work?  Should one send an edible arrangement, or something?).  Anyway, Monkeybicycle publishes some phenomenally weird and formally inventive stuff, and I am so thrilled to be a part of their publication.

In honor of my pure, unadulterated, nervous excitement about this story’s publication, here are four completely inappropriate thoughts I’ve had when I imagine telling people about this particular story:

  • I only do hardcore arts and crafts.
  • This one’s for all you new mothers out there!
  • What do you mean, you’ve never worn your baby before?  I thought you got pregnant just to have a 100% made-from-scratch accessory.
  • Now THAT’S proper stretching technique.

If you’re wondering how the above four sentences could possibly relate, you can find out by reading this story here.

The Puppet Course

So I’ve been a little obsessed by the idea of puppets ever since I read Helen Oyeyemi’s story, “is your blood as red as this?,” for Read Weird’s inaugural book club.  “is your blood as red as this?” was such a weird, engrossing story, that it kicked off a fascination with puppets in literature.  I found myself ordering every intriguing puppet-related book I came across.  I’m waiting for one more book to arrive in the mail; once it does, I’ll submerge myself in this realm of inanimate life.  I imagine strangeness will ensue.

My reading list is as follows:

Kenneth Gross’ Puppet: An Essay on Uncanny Life

In her acknowledgements, Oyeyemi noted one text, and one text only: Puppet: An Essay on Uncanny Life.  Since I still can’t/don’t want to shake “is your blood as red as this?,” I figured I’d (re)trace Oyeyemi’s steps to perhaps determine how Puppet influenced her work.

Aimee Parkison’s The Petals of Your Eyes

Here’s real life proof that one sentence can sell a novel.  I bought this book based on its description alone:

“Kidnapped girls trapped in a remote theater surrounded by mountains and jungle are forced into illegal performances, displayed in cabinets with curiosities, delicate limbs bound by straps, accompanied by dancing puppets fashioned of dead children’s bones.”

If I could, I’d stuff that sentence in my mouth and eat it. I can’t WAIT to read this book.

The Grimscribe’s Puppets

I’m not sure whether to expect literal or metaphorical puppets in this anthology devoted to Thomas Ligotti’s “eerie and essential nightmares.”  Even so, I’m fascinated to see how these stories position themselves in relation to Ligotti’s work.  Also, doesn’t this cover have wonderful visual resonance with Parkison’s!?

Thomas Ligotti’s Songs of a Dead Dreamer and Grimscribe

Songs of a Dead Dreamer and Grimscribe

Of course, to appreciate the ways in which the stories in the above anthology reflect puppeteering in its literal or metaphorical forms, I have to turn to the original Grimscribe text.  What the heck is a Grimscribe?  I guess I’ll find out.

Also, I love this idea of a dead dreamer: is such a being not, in fact, a puppet himself?  An inanimate being motivated by some consciousness?


And that’s the list, for now!  I’m incredibly eager to see where this dark spiral of a reading course will take me.  If you’ve got any suggestions for seminal puppet texts, please share!

Bring on the Weird

It should come as a surprise to few that friend, colleague, and fellow writer Carlea Holl-Jensen and I feel a strong affinity for all things weird.  We’re especially fond of weird fiction in particular.

Recently, Carlea and I have looked to explore our weird philosophy in the form of a website,  So far, we’ve written about our experiences at AWP 2016 and about our forthcoming Weird Book Club, and we have a lot of great content in the works.

Here’s to bountiful weirdness to come.